Phil (tinjuko) wrote,
Phil
tinjuko

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Prequal

We change, whether we like it or not.
--Ralph Waldo Emerson

Prequal

I would have to say that I a hate and love relationship with change. Sadly enough, I know change is only what I make of it. It's an intangible obstacle that I've made a mountain of. What are the times when we embrace change and the times we resist it?

I actually started changing a few months back. I hate doctors, eye doctors or anyone with a white coat on (but thats another story). Even so, I went through the whole process and got myself contacts. I got myself sunglasses for the first time, ever.

I started working out again. I started getting a little gut going, not that I'm huge or anything, but I hated not having that old washboard abs. I lost the tummy and just working on keeping muscle tone.

I started drinking more water. I never realized how dehydrated my body use to be. I drink about 1-2 gallons/ 4-8 liters of water a day. It's made a huge difference in how I feel and in my health. When I get sinus pressure or feel a little under the weather, I drink water a bit more water than normal and it makes all the difference. (I hate meds and pills).

I also went out and spent a few hundred bux on new clothes. A few dress shirts and some dress shoes.


Past

I remember as a kid, always wanting to make people laugh and smile. The image played slowly, frame by frame, in black and white. But that wasn't the reality, I was the shy, introverted kid. I was the one that stood from a distance and watched those that knew the art of communication. They could just walk up to a crowd of strangers, jump start the conversation, trigger the laughs and paint the smiles on others.


Carl Jung: The Inner World (guy's version, for ladies, just flip the opposite sex)

Remember a kid from childhood that you really like, then one you didn't like.

Remember what you liked about your dad (mom for ladies) when you were little, remember what you didnt like.

Think about what you admire in men right now, think about what you hate.

Now think about what you love about women, and what you hate.

Carl Jung calls these projections, that they're actually you. These are "your" things. They have nothing to do with those people. These things happen within you. Those things that you admire in men are actually your own gifts that you're not allowing out of you. The things you hate about men are mostly your dark side, the things you dont like. The things you love about women are the holes in your personality, the needs you haven't figured out how to get met. The things you hate about women are your own insecurities. Your issues.


Journey

Looking back...I still want to be that kid, the one that could make others laugh and smile. I have no problem with walking up to people and starting a conversation. I do have my moments of being funny and having a good time. But its far, few and a conscious effort. I want to be the guys that I admire, the life of the party. Not for the attention, but the ability to bring others joy, fun, and laughter.

I pulled like 15 books from my self to re-read and a few others I'm planning on purchasing as well. Some of those books seem out there as well, but hey, im the "out of the box" type of person anyways.

Photobucket

my bookshelf is looking full as well. I need to get another one or start packing some of the books in boxes. Actually, behind those books are more books, smaller paperback ones. I also have books laying all over the floor as well.




To exist is to change, to change is to mature, to mature is to go on creating oneself endlessly.
--Henri Bergson
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